Doubt; not making a decision is still making a choice

There are three main reasons you stay in doubt

Doubt doesn’t look complicated if it was just ‘not being sure what the right choice is’. It is often not that simple. Maybe you do know and feel what the right choice is but don’t have the nerves for it. Maybe you don’t want to make a choice, or just maybe you are overwhelmed by emotions and can’t see clearly.

The problem with doubt is it keeps you stuck. If it is for just a little while it is not really a problem, but sometimes doubt will take you years. Your head and heart aren’t in alignment and will keep fighting each other. These long fights will give you health issues as a way for your body to signal that something is wrong.

So first you need to know why you are in doubt:

• You aren’t sure

• Your emotions are all over the place

• You are delaying the choice

I am not sure yet

Let’s start with I am not sure. At this point you probably did a pro’s and con’s list, if not you can try doing that, but it probably didn’t work. Know that often doubt is a “no, not right now” and it can be different tomorrow.

If you have been stuck for some time try to do a visualization:

• What will your life look and feel like if:

  • you make that choice?

  • you continue on your current path?

• For each scenario determine if it feels good and expanding or tight in your body.

If it is a bigger choice you can split it in multiple parts. Take the smallest step and keep feeling how it feels. You repeat this until you walked through all the steps or you can adjust along the way.

Do know: you don’t need to be 100% sure to make a choice! 80% is enough!

My emotions are all over the place

Refrain from making any choice when you feel like this! Wait until the emotions have settled and you feel more clear. You may already have felt a Yes or No but still wait until you are calm. Check in afterwards what the definitive answer is.

Know when you follow through on this decision, you can feel emotional during or after. Don’t let the emotion fool you into thinking that you made the wrong choice! Afterwards, give yourself time to settle back in a calm state. Then re-evaluate the choice and see if you still think it was right (often it was).

I am delaying a choice

This is the other category, where often the choices fall that are big, life changing and not easily reversible. You may be disappointing someone or you just aren’t ready.

You know you have a decision to make and follow through on it. Often you already made up your mind but did not take any action on it yet. If it is too big and scary, see if you can split it up in smaller chunks. If it is because you don’t want to hurt someone, do it anyway. It will hurt more when time goes on.

“Not making a decision is still making a choice. You chose to stay where you are right now”