You did choose your conditioning
Conditioning isn’t loud. It’s subtle. It lives in your reflexes, your stress responses, your “why did I do that again?” moments. Real change starts when awareness meets practice. The blog walks you through how to begin — without fighting yourself.
SELF DEVELOPMENTINSIGHTPRACTICE
New systems are possible
In a way we are all trained. We are trained by our caretakers, school systems, society and workplaces. They all instill behavior or beliefs in us, that are desirable. Most of these influences were influenced by older systems.
What if I tell you we are in the process of creating new systems? We have been for years. We all know a parent that said: “I am going to do it differently!” And we all know he probably didn’t succeed.
It feels harsh when you are so convinced you want to do it differently, but actually lack the tools or awareness to do so. Know you can still create the system you wanted, it is never too late!
Conditioning often feels stubborn
We have to learn new behavior and especially what this behavior would look like. If you know you want to do it differently, but don’t know what that looks like, you are setting up for failure.
Conditioning is subtle, if you are going to change what you’ve learned, know that the moments you are tired, stressed or overwhelmed are those that show you where conditioning is still laying dormant.
Your nervous system will also be on high alert when breaking conditioning. You can see the conditioning as this warm, cosy and safe blanket around you. Anything you do out of this comfort zone will set off the alarm. Fear will creep in, just like the never ending dialog in your head. That is why knowing your triggers can help tremendously with finding you conditioning!
Before heading to the tips on breaking conditioning. Always know there is also positive conditioning. The things you have learned and that are still really valuable and useful are positive. All the new behaviors or beliefs are in fact new conditioning, you actually are training yourself!
What can you do?
Some tips that help you on your way:
If you really don't know anything about your conditioning start with finding your triggers! I have a post on Instagram about this (click here).
Then you start with journaling:
Which conditioning do you recognize in yourself? Make a list and categorize them in usefulness and priority of changing.
Which positive conditioning do you have that can help you or needs more room in your life?
What conditioning do you want to change? Choose one to start with!
What would be the desired new belief or behavior look like? How do you think, feel and even move? It is often opposite to the one you want to change!
When you know which conditioning you want to change and how it looks you can start catching yourself in the moment. Stop yourself in converting back to the old way and start doing the new thing
First in the easy moments when you feel energized or good,
Then when it becomes standard you can start with the moments that feel more challenging.
Let the people you trust, know what you are doing. They can help you by letting you know your behavior is not matching your new intention.
Focus on deep breathing and pause, it is a nice and easy way to calm your nervous system.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself, not getting it right all the time is okay!